


destroya (love will save you)

by johannaxb



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Im bored and shit at writing fanfics but i will try until i die, M/M, Probs slow-build idk, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, probs smut if i ever learn to write it, punk josh, yellow haired josh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-28 14:38:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10118291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johannaxb/pseuds/johannaxb
Summary: meet tyler.tyler is a shell of insecurity, who loves music and is falling quickly for josh.meet blurry, the persona of all of tylers insecurities . blurry does everything in his way to destroy tyler.finally, meet josh. a yellow haired punk who will do anything to stop blurry from destroying tyler.





	1. tyler meets josh

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is lol I wrote this on a 17 h long plane ride. this is my first real multi-chaptered fic so it will probably be shit at first but hopefully the more I write the more the story and my writing will improve. Enjoy!
> 
> (also be sure to leave comments, gimme all of ur feedback love ya)

Tyler didn't love himself. Blurry made sure of that. Every night, blurry's (short for blurryface) voice was all Tyler could hear. Screaming at him, constantly inside Tyler's head reminding him of how worthless he was.

And Tyler believed every single word that came out of blurry’s mouth. For the self loving people out there that probably comes across as totally fucking bizarre. But for the self-loathing, scared boys like Tyler, blurry was all he had.

Tyler had no one. That was also something blurry had taken care of. His family had since long ago abandoned him. Ever since Tyler came out as gay a few years ago his family refused to speak to him. They were all highly religious and believed to this day that Tyler's sexual orientation was a choice. It was a sin against God and they would not have it. And when it came to friends Tyler never made any, not since high school anyways. Brendon, Pete and Patrick had since long forgotten about him and Tyler never gained the ability to socialise so naturally, he was left all alone.

The only friend he had was the thing that ultimately was going to kill him, how ironic wasn't that?

But it wasn't all bad. Every week Tyler would go to the local music store and see the dreamy boy with the yellow hair. Tyler didn't know the boy's name since he didn't dare to speak to him. Blurry had already convinced him that the boy would never love a disgusting human being such as himself but Tyler kept coming back, admiring the boy from afar.

Although that was not the only reason of his weekly visits. Tyler also happened to love music. His family never approved of his songwriting if it even could be called that but now that he was alone he could write, play and sing to his hearts content. Tyler played the piano and the ukulele but mostly he sung. At night when blurry invaded his head with words of nothingness, Tyler found that the best way to get rid of him was to write. Of course nothing he had written made sense to anyone beyond himself since it was just messily, scribbled down thoughts but it helped.

Right now Tyler sat behind a keyboard in a room located in the back of the store, trying to figure out the chords for his newest song. He always went to the store late at night, knowing that was the time people usually left. He wouldn't even dream of performing in front of people, just the thought made him want to puke his guts out.

He gently pressed down the keys, finding an order that worked with the vision he had in his head. Tyler swiftly looked around making sure that no one was close before he started to play.

The song started gently, Tyler pressing the keys with such quiet passion that you almost had to block out even the smallest of sounds to hear it.

As the song progressed everything became more frantic. Tyler's voice managed to be soft yet filled with such intensity and passion that it was almost questionable if the boy sitting behind the keyboard and the boy frantically rapping were even the same person. It was nearing the end of the song and Tyler was at this point slamming the keys violently, screaming out the lyrics he had in his head. He got so lost in the music that he didn't notice the boy standing in the opening of the room, watching him.

As the song reached its climax Tyler was panting, slowly opening his eyes again and looking around the room. This time something was different. Tyler wasn't alone.

At the door stood a boy, or not a boy more like the boy. The yellow haired boy. And Tyler panicked. His breathing becoming erratic, his mind frantically searching for an excuse. For an escape route.

Before Tyler had a chance to process what was going he felt tears gathering behind his eyelids. When Tyler opened his eyes the tears just poured out, his vision blurring and all he could focus on was blurry, screaming at him.

_You fucking freak, and you wonder why everyone leaves. This is why._

_Now that he has heard what's in your mind he'll never look your way again._

_You disgust me you know. You're fucking weak Tyler, so fucking weak. You're crying in front of a random person. He probably hates your wimpy ass, soon he'll leave or worse maybe he'll even laugh at you._

_You disgust me._

Tyler was woken up from his thoughts by a soft voice. The voice was so close Tyler could almost feel his breath. He tried his hardest to make out the words coming out of the boy's mouth assemble it to a coherent sentence.

“Can you hear me?” the yellow haired boy was repeating over and over hoping to somehow reach out to the boy right in front of him.

Tyler nodded cautiously and the yellow haired boy took that as a sign to continue.

“You're having a panic attack right now. I'm going to help you as best as I can okay? Am I allowed to touch you?”

Tyler nodded again, this time with more certainty than before.

The yellow haired boy reached out and touched Tyler's shoulder gently his voice still hovering uncertainly in the air.

“So what I usually find helps me when I’m having a panic attack is to focus on one thing. So I want you to focus on my voice and do what I say. Do you think you can do that?”

Tyler nods a third time trying his hardest to focus on the boy's steady voice.

“So what I want you to do is to take a deep breath.” Tyler complies and the boy continues. “And now I want you to count to three and then breathe out”

Tyler follows the boy's instructions and soon enough finds his body returning to its normal rhythm. He decides to open his eyes and finds two deep brown eyes staring into his. He tries to speak but his body is still in shock and everything that will come out is squeaky noises. Tyler looks down on his feet, afraid that he might embarrass himself further if he opens his mouth again.

“I'm sorry if I startled you, I just came in here to say that it's closing time and then I heard you play and I… I just want to say that you're really talented. I've never heard a person sing and play with such passion before”

Tyler opens his mouth again desperately hoping that it wouldn't betray him like before.

“I-I’m s-sorry” his voice was trembling, barely audible but the boy was close enough to hear every word. The boy felt confusion take over his features.

“You have nothing to apologise for okay, if anything I should be the one who should apologise. Sneaking up on you and all that”

“B-but I..I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm such a cry baby”

“Hey, no, don't say that. Having anxiety and all that I know how fucking horrible panic attacks are and how sudden they can sneak up on you. The important thing is that it's over and that you're alright, okay?”

Tyler didn't find it in him to continue argue with the yellow haired boy even though he knew how wrong he was so he just nodded. Now that he had finally calmed down, he realised that he had been talking to the boy for several minutes without knowing his name.

“I just realised I never asked your name, I'm Tyler.”

“Josh, pleasure to meet ya.” Josh eyes were crinkling with happiness as he gave Tyler a toothy grin. Tyler found this to be extremely adorable and found himself blushing as Josh continued.

“Well maybe we didn't meet under the best circumstances but I got to hear your pretty voice so I guess it turned out pretty well after all” Josh winked this time and if Tyler wasn't blushing already he sure was now. If he could look at himself in a mirror Tyler is sure he would be red as a tomato by this point. Josh just smirked, obviously knowing the effect he had on the boy.

The boys were just staring carelessly at each other for what felt like hours on end until Josh remembered what he actually came there to do.

“So, not to ruin the mood or anything but I really need to close the store or my boss will be pissed. Sorry 'bout that”

Tyler woke up from his Josh induced coma realising he had just said something and was now staring expectantly at Tyler for a response.

“I'm sorry, what?” Tyler says sounding confused by the whole situation, being way too occupied with Josh's hair, the shape of his nose and the colour of his eyes. Almost missing what he says the second time.

Josh chuckles at Tyler's childlike confusion. Doe eyes staring up at him expectantly. Josh repeats his words once again.

“I said I really need to close the shop right now or my boss will definitely kick my ass in the morning”

“Oh yeah of course, I didn't mean to keep you for that long. It's just you know, panic attacks and stuff…”

“Yeah, I guess they are pretty distracting. I'm just gonna grab my keys and then I'll follow you out. If that's okay with you?”

Tyler blushes once again,

“Y-yeah, I mean yeah sure. Sounds great” Tyler genuinely smiles, for the first time in ages. Maybe blurry was wrong, maybe Josh actually likes him.

-

Blurry was not pleased by this. He had minimised Tyler's social interactions for years on end and now some stupid boy came along and risked ruining it all. Blurry was going to stop this, even if it meant destroying Tyler. Tyler was his and no one else's, he was gonna make sure Tyler knew that.

Tyler was once again woken up from his thoughts, this time by the door bell signaling Josh's arrival.

Josh saw Tyler's facial features tense up but relaxed as soon as Tyler's eyes landed on Josh's concerned eyes.

“Hey, are you alright?” Josh reached out to touch Tyler's shoulder and looked at him with concern reflected on his face.

“Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing” Tyler smiled as he answered.

“Do you need a ride home or how did you get here?”

“Well, uhm I walked here. It usually takes about 40 minutes or so..”

“But it's freezing out! I can't let you walk home in this weather especially this late at night. Let me drive you home Ty. I insist.”

Tyler smiles and nods at Josh's request, already falling hard for the yellow haired boy.

Oh boy, this was going to be a long night


	2. tyler buys a uke and goes to taco bell pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tyler meets josh again, buys a uke and goes to tacobell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda filler-y chapter until I figure out to do with the story. I think I'm doing a lot of backstory and character development the next one so look forward to that. Enjoy this lil one until then! 
> 
> ALSO TW: Self-harm. Stay safe and I love u.

Tyler hadn't gone to see Josh since their little encounter the prior week. Blurry had thoroughly convinced him that Josh wouldn't want to see him after his panic attack and even if he knew somewhere deep in his heart that blurry was wrong, he pushed those feelings aside because _blurry was always right_.

Tyler had a chant blurry made him repeat night after night in his head, to remind him who was in charge. The answer was _always blurry_ , _never Tyler_. It went something like this:

_You would be nothing without me._

_You only exist to please me, your body is merely a vessel made out of blood and bones to contain my soul._

_Don't ever think that you, Tyler has a bigger meaning than serving me._

_You would be nothing without me Tyler. You're fucking worthless, lifeless matter and you'll never experience love._

_Blurry is always right. And don't you_ _EVER_ _forget it._

Tyler was weak under blurry's command. His brain had since long been the base for blurry's little games. At this point he felt like blurry knew him better than he knew himself, he had lost himself somewhere along the way. Even his body had started to listen to blurry's commands more often, the scars on his arms and thighs evident proof of that.

Tyler hated the scars decorating his thin frame. A mess of white and red lines covering every inch of skin Tyler could find at the time. The times when blurry's screams got so excruciatingly loud that Tyler's only relief was the sharp sting of the blade and the flow of the red thick liquid running through his veins. Tyler cut until his vision started to blur and his body went limp with blood loss. Tyler cut until his arms felt numb, until everything went black. 

Of course blurry needed to put a stop to this, he knew he couldn't let Tyler have this control over him or it would soon enough mean real danger. If it went on any further blurry would soon not have a body to control or a mind to manipulate. So recently blurry took certain precautions. He hid the blades more carefully and made sure he didn't scream as often but instead planted the bad thoughts, slowly but surely.

-

Today Tyler decided, would be a good day, or at least as good as it could get with blurry planting poisonous thoughts in his head. Today would be a good day.

He had finally summed up the courage to go see Josh at the record store again. Blurry warned him but Tyler had made up his mind and it was too late. Tyler's will was too strong for blurry to fight so for once in his life he let Tyler be in charge. I mean what could really happen?

Tyler showered and quickly put on some black jeans, a black hoodie and his favorite flowery vans before he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door to meet his destiny. (More known as the yellow haired boy that went by the name ‘Josh’).

The walk to the record store seemed to go extra fast this time and before he knew it, Tyler was standing in front of the store with no idea what to say to the yellow haired boy. He must've stood outside the shop for about 20 minutes before he dared to open the door and go in. As usual the bell made a sound when Tyler entered the shop but instead of the usual running and hiding in the back of the store Tyler was greeted by a certain yellow haired punk who smiled so wide Tyler was sure his jaw must've hurt.

“Hey Ty! How are you, dude?” Josh's voice was practically bouncing of the walls with excitement and nothing could've made Tyler happier.

“Oh you know, peachy.” Tyler said hesitantly.

“Yeah, same shit here. I've been working constantly the last few weeks, it's been insane! It's better now that you're here though” Josh said with a wink. This of course made Tyler blush furiously which only egged on Josh.

“Well, are you looking for something special today or are you just here to play some more?” Josh continued. Sometimes Tyler almost forgot Josh actually _worked_ here and wasn't here purely for his personal interests.

“Well, I thought maybe I should actually buy an instrument this time since I'm always here hogging the store’s”

Josh chuckled at this and seeing Josh genuinely amused by something he said made Tyler all warm and tingly on the inside.

“So what were you thinking of, I know you're killer at piano but perhaps you're looking for something else?

“Well I was thinking uhm, maybe the ukulele? I've played it a few times before and I know it's kinda lame but-”

“Ukuleles are totally punk rock dude, don’t apologise. I mean you could be the guy who plays ukulele and _raps._ I would pay to see that, for sure.”

Tyler giggled, legit giggled. As soon as the sound came of of his mouth he covered his mouth with his hands and a blush quickly rose to his cheeks. Josh was ecstatic how easily affected Tyler was, this was definitely gonna come handy in the future.

“So, follow me and I'll show you some ukes!” Josh said and motioned for Tyler to follow him to a room further in the building.

As they entered the room Tyler's mouth formed an “o” with equal amounts of shock as wonder. On the walls hung ukuleles of all shapes and sizes. Tyler had never seen such a beautiful sight before (excluding Josh obviously)

“Cool huh?” Josh said and grinned.

Tyler was way too distracted by the instruments on the walls too even notice Josh speaking to him. He just continued to wander around the room with a grin so huge you’d think it was Christmas Day. Then Josh asked something so wonderful Tyler think he might just pass out.

“You want to try out some?”

Tyler squealed out of happiness at josh’s question ready to burst through the roof at any given moment. Josh took down a few ones and Tyler immediately grabbed a beautiful cedar wood ukulele, strumming a few simple chords. The notes sounded like a clear summer sky looked, heavenly. Without even trying out the other ones josh had brought down, Tyler _knew_ . He just knew this was _the one_.

“This one. _I need_ , I mean I want this one.” Tyler stumbled on his words as he spoke. “Please” he added, feeling the desperation latch onto him. .

“You sure?”

“Y-yeah, yeah, _I mean yes_ . I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.” Tyler spoke with certainty, he knew this was it. Josh grinned and motioned for Tyler to follow him to the register. Well at the register, Tyler paid although Josh gave him an absurd employee discount (“Josh, this is like half the original price, won’t you like, get in trouble?”, “Don’t worry about it, my boss is an asshole anyway and you’re cute so.. Cute boy discount?” Josh looked at Tyler with his best puppy dog eyes and Tyler swore he melted into a puddle right there and then) Needless to say, Tyler relented and ended up staying _way_ past closing time chatting away with Josh, who was surprisingly the most chill and yet the most interesting person Tyler had ever talked to (even more so than any of his friends in high school).

When Josh realised the time (12am, shit when did that happen?!) he quickly apologised to Tyler before running around the store like a madman finishing stacking countless of forgotten objects as well as locking up the register before returning to Tyler with a grin, ready to lock up the store and leave.

As both of the boys headed outside Tyler felt a gust of cold air hit him making him shiver even with his many layers of clothing. Josh being Josh noticed this right away and as the gentleman he was offered Tyler his own jacket for extra warmth, but this also meant Tyler being Tyler as stubborn as he was (“Ty, come on you’re freezing! Just take my jacket, please.”, “I’m fine Josh I promise, now stop worrying so much. I’m a big boy, I think I can handle a little cold” this time Josh just nodded knowing from the few times they had spoke that Tyler was not gonna give up on this. He was far too stubborn.)

For a moment, none of the boys knew what to say or what to do and fell into to a fairly new concept, awkward silence. Not wanting to look directly into Josh’s eyes Tyler suddenly found his shoes _very_ interesting. Were they always that flowery, were those laces always black? Josh finally broke the silence.

“So, I don’t have work in the morning and I kinda have this unmistakable craving for Taco Bell right now so, you in?” Josh looked at Tyler, his voice hopeful but his eyes looking at Tyler questioningly.

Tyler almost moaned at the thought “Taco Bell sounds amazing right now to be honest, I could totally go for a cheesy gordita crunch, man.”

“Well, a gentleman never keeps his guests waiting so come on, I’ll drive us to the closest restaurant and we’ll decide what to do after that. Sounds good to you?”

“Yessss let’s go, my body can’t live with that cheesy gordita crunch not being inside of me much longer. Let’s hurry up” Josh chuckled at how eager the boy was to get his food. Well, it was taco bell though, could he really blame him? Josh loved how fast their relationship had blossomed and how comfortable the two boys acted around each other even though they’d only met two times.

But first, Taco Bell.

 


End file.
